10 Stupid Poet Tricks

#1 The "Wind-Gets-In-My-Eyes Or I'm-Just-Too-Delicate-For-This-World" trick

#2 The "Pole Dancing for Publication" trick

#3 The "Competing for the Most Painful Attempted Suicide Story" trick

#4 The "Most Famous Drunk in the Room" trick

#5 "I'm-the-Real-Poet-and-You're-Gum-Stuck-to-the-Bottom-of-My-Shoe" trick

#6  The "You Should Sleep With Me Because I'm So Profound and/or Sensitive (Don't tell the Dean)" trick

#7 The "I Used to Be Your Friend But I Traded Up" trick

#8 The "I-Just-Published-a-Book-of-All-Your-Deepest-Secrets-That-You-Told-Me-When-You-Were Desperately-Lonely" trick

#9 The "Glamorous Addiction" trick

#10 The "You Scratch My Back and I'll Stab Yours" trick